Harry Redknapp, footballing cult hero, is going to be on I’m a Celebrity.
Of course, the big discussion right now is what Redknapp will choose as his luxury item; each celebrity is permitted one thing “from back home” to assist them or simply provide comfort in the jungle.
Some pick photos of their family. Others go for moisturiser, or even something as simple as a pillow. What would Redknapp’s item be? Well, Peter Crouch has already ruled himself out, so perhaps it’ll be Nico Kranjcar?
But the more interesting question is: what luxury items would current Premier League managers take into the jungle if they were on I’m A Celebrity? We’ve had a look and come up with a list of 10!
1. Jurgen Klopp: a framed photo of David Wagner
We all know how tough things can get in the jungle. You’re isolated, uncomfortable, you miss your loved ones. Sometimes it’s just nice to be reminded of home, right?
Huddersfield boss David Wagner once said of the moment he first met Jurgen Klopp, “It was love on the first view, as we say in Germany.” So forget the wife and kids. Klopp is taking a framed photo of his former teammate and assistant at Mainz (and Borussia Dortmund). Sure, he’ll keep it hidden from his fellow coaches in the jungle for fear of mockery. But this is the Premier League’s purest managerial bromance, and seeing Wagner’s lovely smile would warm Klopp’s heart every day.
2. Maurizio Sarri: cigarettes
Smoking is bad, mmkay? You shouldn’t smoke. But Maurizio Sarri does. He loves it. So if you stuck him in the jungle, he’d probably start berating people with that ice cold demeanour of his after a couple of days with no smokes. So he’d get some smokes and go puff away by the creek.
3. Mauricio Pochettino: Fergie’s autobiography
With no youngsters to coach in the jungle, Pochettino would be left frustrated and need to keep his mind active. With this in mind, he would probably request a book to read, perhaps Sir Alex Ferguson’s autobiography. Pochettino has said that the great Scot, with whom he once dined, was one of his great idols and inspirations, and would love to soak up the legendary former Manchester United boss’ knowledge.
4. Unai Emery: a whiteboard
When it comes to any challenges or tasks the celebs are set, Unai Emery would be straight in there with the planning. He’d probably break out in hives at his inability to make DVDs for training purposes, but he can make do with a whiteboard and some markers. With these tools, Emery could plot and plan any tasks, making sure everyone on his team would know where to go and what to do.
5. Jose Mourinho: the past
Everyone loves a bit of nostalgia but as his present is spiralling down into the abyss, Mourinho has taken things to new levels of looking back to the past with a pair of misty eyes that would put Spielberg and Abrams to shame. To manifest that desire for nostalgia, he would have a pillow covered in photos not of loved ones, but of his various successes as a coach with Porto, Chelsea, Inter and Real Madrid. He would sleep on it at night and spoon it by day, drawing strength from its reminder of better times.
6. Neil Warnock: a bowling ball
Warnock loves to bowl. Not on the cricket field. The alleys are his habitat. Proper Big Lebowski stuff. As one anecdote from his Sheffield United days goes, Warnock once conned all of his players by taking the squad bowling, proposing a friendly whip-round wager on the winner, then proceeded to massacre everyone. There are no alleys on an island but with enough time, wood and effort a makeshift alley could be made. Hell, if nothing else Warnock could use the ball as a chance to brag.
7. Claudio Ranieri: pizza
It was this or the dilly- ding, dilly-dong bell. Or maybe an Andrea Bocelli CD. But this ain’t Dessert Island Discs. This is I’m a Celebrity. It’s about pulling together and teamwork, and what food represents teamwork better than pizza?
Ranieri is one manager who’s never doubted the power of Naples’ greatest culinary gift to the world. He recently got back into Premier League management at Fulham, who cannot stop conceding goals, but his title-winning Leicester side had a similar problem which he tried to overcome by promising pizza for clean sheets in 2015. Well, with that prize on offer they started tightening up at the back and the rest is history. Whether or not he repeats his pizza ploy with Fulham, he’s definitely bringing some pizza into the jungle should things go south.
8. Sean Dyche: electric worm catcher
Sean Dyche eats worms, at least according to former teammate Soren Andersen. The Dane played with Dyche at Bristol City and said “every time we trained, he used to eat [earth]worms.”
We all know how important sustenance is. And as the old saying goes, give a Dyche a worm and he’ll eat for a day. Give a Dyche an electric worm catcher, and he’ll eat for the whole of 2018’s I’m a Celebrity. Step forward the electric worm catcher, which – believe it or not – is actually a thing (it’s essentially a cattle prod you stick in the ground to electrify the earth and force worms to the surface, and it featured in the classic 1998 Roland Emmerich motion picture Godzilla).
9. Nuno Espirito Santo: Jorge Mendes
Nuno Espirito Santo was Jorge Mendes’ first client way back when. Now Mendes is basically football’s Illuminati, he has been repaying the favour by getting Nuno jobs he is in no way actually qualified for and then, at Wolves, helped him sign players who were in no way under-qualified enough to play in the Championship. So, of course, if Nuno found himself in the jungle, what better luxury item to call on than the world’s most powerful superagent? Mendes would solve any and every problem for the Portuguese.
10. Pep Guardiola: a football
Some managers are cool, some managers are not, some managers are enormous dorks. Pep Guardiola is somehow all three. Being stuck in the jungle, all Pep would want, all he’d ask for, is a football. Just one ball. Within hours he’d have all the other contestants in a clearing somewhere, training their hearts out. His arms would be flapping about like Mr. Burns signalling at a softball game and he’d soon teach everyone the first principles of football. He’d have them playing the Barcelona way with true harmony. It’d be a true island paradise.
Tell us your ‘luxury item’ suggestions for the above or any other managers in the comments below, or via Twitter @Squawka. We might just RT the best ones…
The post 10 Premier League managers and the ‘luxury items’ they’d take on I’m A Celebrity appeared first on Squawka News.
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