Super Frank smites Man Utd: winners and losers as Derby reach Carabao Cup fourth round

In a stunning result at Old Trafford, Derby County beat Manchester United 8-7 on penalties after a 2-2 draw.

The result dumps The Red Devils out of the Carabao Cup and heaps more misery on José Mourinho. Who were the winners and losers?

Loser: José Mourinho

There’s a bit in Die Hard 2 where John McClaine, faced with crawling through another ventilation shaft having been beset by yet another group of terrorists at Christmas, exclaims “how can the same **** happen to the same guy twice??”

You have to figure that José Mourinho identifies very strong with that line. He even said in his post-match interview that at half-time against Derby he repeated the same thing that he said during the Wolves match. So, the answer to his McClaine-esque question would probably be something along the lines of well if you say the same thing, did you expect a different reaction?

Mourinho probably thinks he’s the John McClaine of his own story, and in a way he is. In the first Die Hard, McClaine describes himself as “a fly in the ointment, a monkey in the wrench, a pain in the ***” and let’s be honest, Mourinho is all three of those things it’s just he’s not opposing villainy but more the abstract idea of good football.

There are problems at Manchester United far out of Mourinho’s control, and that cannot be minimised, but this was the second game in a row where United took the lead and were comfortably superior to their opponent, yet through profligate strikers and a general lack of urgency or desire, simply sat on that 1-0 lead until the opponent regrouped and pegged them back.

Except Derby, buoyed by their man advantage, pushed on to take the lead in dramatic fashion. They got a late equaliser with the typical Mourinho panic tactic of hoofing it to Marouane Fellaini, but that Mourinho’s full-time team-talk couldn’t lift his players to win the penalty shootout against a Championship side.

Mourinho got taken apart in his own back yard by a former player in his first year in management. The Portuguese’s situation may be best described by quotes from the first two Die Hard films but his side now plays with the quality and consistency of the fourth and fifth Die Hard films. It’s not good, and it can’t be long before Ed Woodward calls Mourinho up and hits him with that “yippey ki yay, ****** ******”

Winner: Harry Wilson

Wilson is just 21 years old and on loan from Liverpool. He scored his first goal for Derby at the weekend and came into the game against United eager to make an impression. He probably never suspected he could mastermind a victory to make his parent club happy, but that is exactly what he did.

With Derby 1-0 down but playing the better football, Wilson stepped up to take a free-kick. Wearing the no. 7 shirt he truly channelled his inner Cristiano Ronaldo and belted a stunning free-kick into the back of the net. Sergio Romero didn’t move but in truth what could he have done? The ball swerved, dipped and seemed to pick up speed in the air. It was a miracle of a thing and the perfect cap to Wilson’s night as he was voted man of the match.

Loser: Sergio Romero

Poor Romero. The Argentine stopper could do nothing about the goal that he conceding, a baffling and brilliant world-bending free-kick, and as if that wasn’t bad enough he then got sent off. The red was justifiable as he handled the ball outside the area, but the only reason he was forced to run that far out is because his midfield didn’t press a passer and his defence was utterly incapable of handling a simple long ball.

Winner: Paul Pogba

Paul Pogba has allegedly been told he won’t ever captain United again, after his calls to heed the United fans calls to “attack attack attack!” a bit more. Apparently Mourinho took these criticisms to heart and, in addition to benching (or “resting”) Pogba against Derby, he has supposedly given him a dressing down in front of the squad and has confirmed that he took the vice captaincy from him.

And yet, against Derby, Pogba was proven correct. United took the lead and were then much too casual about extending it. They showed no desire to put their opponent in a stranglehold, nor push forward and put the Derby goal under siege in order to get a second and third goals. Everything Pogba said about needing to attack more? Absolutely accurate.

Loser: Romelu Lukaku

Speaking of accurate, it was the one thing Romelu Lukaku wasn’t against Derby. As much as Mourinho’s tactical lethargy was worthy of blame, Romelu Lukaku had enough chances to bury Derby and give United a comfortable win; yet for some reason the Belgian striker just couldn’t find his rhythm in front of goal. He was constantly taking too much time, or taking bad touches, or just not looking focused enough. It was every criticism of him distilled into one performance. United needed a huge performance from their big man, but he shrunk on stage.

Winner: Frank Lampard

Super Frank, Super Goals, Super Boss? Mourinho’s former star midfielder is into his first season as a manager and so far he’s not doing too badly. This match against United was the first colossal test of Lampard’s managerial ethos; will his side be able to play with positivity when faced by an overwhelmingly superior opponent?

The answer is yes. Now obviously this doesn’t mean too much as it pertains to Lampard’s long-term potential, but the fact that he was able to bring his Derby County side to Old Trafford and have them play United with no fear and inhibition was incredible. Derby were legitimately the better side in the second half and had they walked off with the win in normal time, no one could have complained. As it is the match went to penalties, where his players showed phenomenal nerve and skill to score a perfect 8/8 penalties and advance.

Winner: Chelsea

They’ll be dancing on the King’s Road tonight! Or, y’know, chuckling into their smartphones. Chelsea have had a great night here, a wonderful lift the day before they face Liverpool. Not only has their beloved oldboy Frank Lampard claimed a massive scalp early in his managerial career, but that scalp was Manchester United. Except it wasn’t just Manchester United, it was José Mourinho’s Manchester United, and for Super Frank to get one over of the reviled (by Chelsea) Portuguese is phenomenal. And that he did it with Chelsea loanee Mason Mount at the heart of midfield, running the show, playing United like he would do any average Championship side, is just the icing on a very merry Chelsea cake.

Loser: Manchester United

Right? Not just in the literal sense that they lost the game and are now out of the Carabao Cup; but in a much grander existential sense. United are just meek and pathetic now, possessing none of the personality and swagger that held dominion over the Premier League since pretty much its inception up until the point Sir Alex Ferguson retired.

Hell, they even pulled out a stoppage time equaliser against Derby tonight and they still didn’t win. Back in the day the sheer force of belief would have seen them get the winner before the full-time whistle, and if it did go to penalties the sheer aura of those red shirts would intimidate the visitors to slapping their penalties all over the place. But Derby were unnerved, because United have lost what made them special, what made them unique. Now they’re just Arsenal with a much bigger wage budget.

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